“More Loosely, Yet More Dearly” is my piece representing the Enneagram One. Remembering that the name for Ones is “The Perfectionist”, I saw fit to create this piece digitally because everything would be presented much cleaner and more organized digitally than if I were to use a different medium.

I had several themes in mind that I wanted to communicate to Ones through my piece, and I wanted it to be as perfect as possible. I originally wanted my piece to be orderly, neat, and precise, and I wanted it to make Ones feel at ease. I wanted to use white to represent perfection, black to add contrast, and the primary colors to represent One's desire to be principled and balanced. I tried idea after idea, and I would realize that it was not “perfect enough”, so I would keep it and open a new artboard to carry on with a new idea. After doing this time and time again, I realized that I simply could not make something that was perfect. I felt a hint of what Ones often struggle with, which is the reality that their efforts to be perfect are meaningless because no one can ever be truly perfect. This frustrated me at first because I truly wanted the theme of my piece to represent their desires for goodness and perfection, but I realized that I now wanted to change my theme to address this feeling that I had after realizing that perfection was unattainable.

I zoomed out on my screen and studied the pieces that I had made. I looked at my imperfect ideas all mashed together, and I realized that when they were all together they made something that was visually interesting and honestly beautiful. I listened to the song “One” by Sleeping At Last, and the lyric “I hold it all more loosely, and yet somehow much more dearly” stuck out to me. I realized that by letting go of my need for control I was able to create something that had a much dearer meaning than the one I originally wanted to portray.

I know that this piece is busy and slightly chaotic, but it represents the chaos of imperfection and the realness of the world around us. One's efforts to be perfect are seen, recognized, and good, but when they see my piece I want them to see that amid mistakes and imperfection, they are still just as seen, recognized, and good. When they choose to let go they are finally able to experience the freedom that comes with realizing they do not have to be perfect to be loved.